GUEST POST: On the Verge of “Teacher Tired” and the NMTLN

GUEST POST: On the Verge of “Teacher Tired” and the NMTLN

Dear Teacher,

I know.  It’s late in winter. The sky is mostly absent of sunshine and the cold is settling into your bones. You have too many papers to grade, at least one third of the students in your class are sick with some contagion—yet they continue to come to school, another classroom observation is pending, and statewide testing is looming in front of you like a huge black hole that you are certain will suck you in and not let you go.  I know.  I’m right there with you.  I know you are on the verge of ‘teacher-tired,’ and the middle of the year ‘teacher blues’ are settling in.  I also know that the last thing you really want to do is think about the NMPED or any of the coming expectations in education connected with ESSA or state legislation surrounding education. I. KNOW.

These were all the burdens I carried with me when I drove to Santa Fe the evening of January 11th. I was TIRED.  And even though I was humbled and excited for the upcoming New Mexico Teacher Leader Network  gathering I had been chosen to participate in, I was also feeling a bit pessimistic, and if I’m honest, skeptical about the notion of one more ‘training’ hosted by the NMPED.  You see, as a 16 year NM teacher veteran, I had little faith that day in the PED’s ability to entertain or inform me to a level that I would find helpful or beneficial enough to justify the hours of prepping I had to do to be gone from my classroom for two full days.

That Wednesday evening of January 11th as I made the3.5 hour drive from Texico to the state capital, I spent my time in quiet reflection about what I hoped to take away from this upcoming ‘leader’ journey.  Teaching isn’t easy. You know this. It requires a certain mixture of intentionality and magic with a smidge of planning and a healthy dose of love that can be exhausting. Combine all of these elements, and the idea of adding one more thing to the mix is enough to send even the most seasoned and vibrant teacher over the edge and into, as Dr. Seuss calls them, those ‘not-so-nice places’.   And even though I was humbled by the selection, I wasn’t yet fully committed to the process, but I was also really curious about what the PED’s intentions were with this committee of 50 teachers, so I promised myself to give it my best, albeit tired teacher, effort!

Fast forward to today as I write this blog entry. Wow.  Just. WOW.  I stand corrected.  I am also restored in my belief that our state is FULL of dedicated educators who value and esteem teachers.  I spent those two cold days in Santa Fe surrounded by teachers and policy educators who are filled with a warmth and genuine love of teaching that any educator would be proud to associate with and learn from together. Not only did the New Mexico Public Education Department pull off a stellar event that championed and valued teachers in our state, they also owned up to previous mistakes in communication, preparation, and planning with regard to many of the changes that have been rolled out over the past 3 years in our school districts and classrooms.  That is important. Recognizing past mistakes and failures and owning responsibility in those incidents is important to me.  Many times over the last three years I felt unappreciated and demeaned. The NMPED owned their part in fostering those feelings. They were humble and candid about mistakes that were made, and earnest in a desire to create a solid bridge between teachers and the state department of education. The atmosphere was one of genuine authenticity and a deep desire to establish a rapport with teachers to enable effective communication and respect. I wouldn’t tell you this if I didn’t honestly believe the intention in their actions was genuine and aimed toward empowering teachers with a voice at the statewide level.

In reflecting upon my experience and what I am taking away from this new journey I’ve embarked upon, I now understand that as a teacher leader it is my responsibility to work with and share information and understandings with my fellow district colleagues in order to grow and build a mutual trust and respect between New Mexico teachers and the PED.  I mean, when you think about what we do every day, the reality is, that should be one of our primary areas of focus as educators.  My role as a NMTLN ambassador is to help build a bridge between all stakeholders so that NM students have the best possible learning journey we can offer.  Do I think this will happen immediately? No, absolutely not.  All good things take time to grow, but I’m optimistic that with the proper attention and care, the seeds of communication that were planted during those two days in Santa Fe will flourish into a strong connection between those who hold the future of the state—our kids—in their hearts.

I would love to talk to anyone who has questions or concerns about what I learned and know as a NMTLN ambassador.

Good things are happening, y’all.

Dawn Bilbrey
8th Grade ELA/US History
Texico Middle School
Texico, NM

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